her mouth undid my resolve
her eyes forced a forgiveness
I wasn't ready to give
she slid in between me
and the unhappiness
of everything
her lips danced with mine
a chorus of black magic
behind my tired eyes
she broke my resolve
she undid my courage
with a touche of her breath
she filled my lungs
air thick and foggy
it eroded my vision
my purpose, my nature
i dis-remembered my sadness
forgot my listlessness
foolishly, stupidly
i forgot the nature of my despondence
i fell into a water
calm and clear
but as i emerged
i find it had not been enough
to clean the mud from my skin
mother i love you,
father, i do
if only you knew
the things i do
i carved out a life
out of clay and mud
and the rain has come to make it bleed
it washes my sins into the sea
and i become shameless
and undecided
what does the future hold for me?
what am i to say
to the girl who pleads she loves me
i am neither here
nor there
im in between
clinging onto past, present
whilst the future pushes and grinds
its back into mine
do i give in?
or do i depart?
and leave nothing but a heartless goodbye?
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